Zoo Day!

A few weeks ago it was Auntie and Nanny time for the girls. This was back when Monica was just born and Mom brought the other girls back to our house for a few days. I took the day off work for Zoo Day. This was my first time hitting the zoo with the girls. 

Zoo Day is tradition for them. Every time they are at our house they head to the zoo. They are actually known to go to the zoo two days in a row, because they want to and they can.

I had a great time hanging out with them. They are so adorable and fun. But, I did get a little bit of the mom perspective on children. Who knew we would have so many tears about who got to sit in the stroller or who got to sit in the wagon? And how many times can we change our mind about which one is better? I think I'll have to work on my patience skills in preparation for motherhood. Eek!

It is also super fun to see my mom as "Nanny". I'm sure most people with nieces/nephews will realize that moms significantly change when they become grandma. It took me awhile to get used to that! However, it's fun to see all the little routines they have together: the zoo, baby belle cheese, chocolate milk, bubble gum (Megan's favourite), puzzles, trampoline...Mom never seems to tire of doing these little things with them.

I'm excited to see them at Christmas!

Decorating

Just wanted to share my lovely little niece, Megan. She helped me decorate my tree the other day. :)

She taught me a very important lesson about Christmas this day. I'm speaking about it at our Christmas Eve service, so I'll post my write up after Christmas. Meggie it is pretty much the cutest thing ever, along with her other three sisters. I'm excited for them to come up after Christmas. :)

In Vancouver

So, I've been meaning to write since my little melt down post last week. I don't want people to think I'm on the verge of tears at every point in my life.

I have lots running through my mind right now and I'm not sure how much I can organize into my thoughts. I'm in Vancouver for business again. I was here last week, got sick this week, and then managed to stumble my way on to the plane at 7:00am yesterday morning. I love coming to Vancouver (although I really wish I were feeling better this time around). 

I made the comment yesterday that I'm not sure I can qualify this as a truly "Canadian" city...All you Vancouver-ites will shoot me for that comment. But in the last few days I've seen more green plants than I do in Calgary on a summer day, I've seen flowers blooming!, I've seen people walking down the street in shorts, and people complaining about the "cold" with it was far above zero...I am only joking, but it's quite pleasant to have the reprieve for awhile.

But, I love coming because I get to work with people. I am so motivated and "directed" when I come home. I've just met with people who have given me direction, I've been able to over hear conversations that make me feel "in the know" again, I've been able to just chat with my co-workers (which is really hard to do over the phone). It is just so easy to be here, while to work in Calgary, it's hard. It's hard to motivate myself. It's hard to have to pick up the phone to talk to someone and not walk down the hall. It's hard to out of the loop.

HOWEVER, this is a big however because I don't want to make is seem like I don't enjoy work. I've realized over the last few months that I've been "remote". This process is actually teaching me to communicate and have thoughts of my own. Yes, nothing is easy, but the lessons I'm learning are not just work lessons, but work lessons. 

Working in a team is difficult. Understanding different personalities takes work, perception and sensitivity. It takes effort to make sure I can communicate so people can understand my thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

And while most people know I usually have no problems expressing myself, it's strange that this doesn't naturally come out in my work environment. Maybe it is because I've always being placed in a position where I don't feel like I have confidence. But all my "career" (I still don't think of myself as having a career) I've been very willing to sit back and do what people tell me. In a remote situation, that doesn't work...I don't really like it, but I've having to show and be confident in areas that I don't feel 100% confident. I do think this is a good thing...and very uncomfortable thing, but a good thing.

I don't love learning the lessons I'm learning through back and forth process. It's not easy, but I do thank God that He's giving me the opportunity to learn them, even through my tears. 

God, sometimes I'm not sure about Your plans, but I'm going to stick it out and learn what You want me to...with joy. 

I have no pictures of Vancouver, so here's a fantastic one of me waiting at the airport. :)

p.s. The second reason I love to come is that I get a night off and to myself. I sure love hanging out in the hotel, going to see a movie, watching TV, going for a walk, reading a book (I need a new one!), catching up on e-mail, and not having to go out...it is a true treat.

It's back...

The "Jesus" prayer is back...wow, I have so much to do that I am so unqualified for! 

Oh Jesus, only through your strength.

Oh the experiences...

I've had an interesting week. 1) I'm exhausted and 2) the boiler blew at one of my sales centres. 3) I'm going to Vancouver and should have lots more work done than I do. And therefore 4) it's been an interesting week.

The work events of the week got me to thinking about all the "experiences" I've had at work over the past few years. Good and bad. So, in no particular order:

~Being receptionist. What a great way to start work! I love being there for a year!

~Moving to admin for multi-family - first task: "Here, make these 163 binders! No, we currently have no supplies. Yes, they need to be done in 3 days..."

~Finding another Christian at work and getting know her more. Love you, Robyn!! I miss you lots!

~The laughs with Jenn. Miss you, Shmoe! Lots...

~Saying "I'll work here as long as Alex isn't my boss." Ah, I look at this and laugh....I now love this guy more that words can express and thank God for him everyday. God's got a plan in this for sure!

~Searching some unnamed person's head for ticks. This will forever stand out in my mind as the strangest thing I had to do...

~Alex's incredible patience in training me to do *everything* I do.

~Developing a love for "Excel" and stats. 

~Getting the call "Uh, there's water pouring out the back door."

~Specific Union Square memories:

• Having my first panic attack. Not cool. High-rise possessions are just slightly stressful.
• Taking safety training so I could walk around site in a hard hat and steel toes so I could pretend to be important.
• Finding out we had all three colours schemes "mixed up" for the entire building. Yup, supplies were already ordered.
• Learning to read electrical plans, just to make sure that the electricians got it right (because I'm such an expert, you know).
• Getting my morning exercise by walking the stairs...all 26 stories.
• Racing Alex up and down the stairs while filling humidifiers...hardwood floors and concrete buildings do not mix well!
• Me becoming "Customer Service Representative" and being given 3 days notice to develop the entire system. Who thought that was a good idea?!
• Shuffling over the concrete floors to find the high spots and low spots.
• Oh, calling the exterminators to get a bat out of the sales centre...and then having it fly in Candice's hair. Really funny, but not at all!
• Holding a "grand master" key for the place
• Watching the fireworks from the roof with Mik. :)
• Pretending I owned the show suite. I still do this...
• "My" building:

And more specifically this year:

~Alex telling me he was moving. What a horrible day...and week. Still makes me cry...but God's working in it.

~Flying to Vancouver every other week for work. Somehow they think this is worth it. I love it, so I'll just keep going as long as they want me.

~Designing exteriors and floorplans of townhouses (uh, when was I trained to do this?!)

~Picking exterior colours for the buildings (and my mom's reaction when she hear this!)

~Having skype dates with the boys in Vancouver. :)

~Having Sean to vent to and "chat" with...actually chat.

~Talking spiritually with Simon. So cool. I never thought I'd be doing that at work!

~My morning fill of Alex, via skype. They get me through my day.

Oh, and there are so many more! This year has been especially challenging, but when I look at my list, I can't help but smile at my experiences, even some of the bad ones. God has brought me so incredibly far in my work journey. As I said before, never in a million years would I have imagined I'd being doing what I do (wait, what do I do?).

Thank you, Lord! You've brought me so far...and I sure couldn't have done any of it without You!

JOY!

So I should be in a terrible mood right now...but I'm not. I'm telling you, this is a very strange feeling! I don't get this very often. I'm usually depressed or upset with I should be happy.

I got a call at work today saying that one of our sales centres had water pouring out the back door. Great...I rushed down there, to find 8 firemen crowding the back room of the sales centre. Okay, so maybe that was the best part of the day. :) And indeed, there was water pooling on the floor. Apparently my boiler blew. Perhaps a few days ago. The entire sales centre was like a shower. I walked in and my glasses fogged up. It was so humid.

Over the next five hours I would call the locksmith, drive around the city to get heaters, worry about if my water lines would freeze, wipe down walls covered in water, and watch my lovely sales centre swell up with water...

I should be upset, I should be mad, and I should be depressed...but I'm not. The only solution to this truly miraculous situation is that Jesus is giving me with good mood, when I should be in a bad one. I guess He's just an amazing guy like that! And I like when my emotions follow what He would want!

Here's me with my trusty paper towel today! Let's hope tomorrow is better, but just a good as today.

Jenessa's Party

Back to my list of updates...I'm working on a "work" post, but will talk a little more about my BGs and our recent get together.

While our party themes have quieted down over the years, we still manage to have such a great time. Everytime I leave our parties I have this overwhelming peace and a renewed love for my girls. I love how randomly (but not!) God brought our little group together.

Not to go into too much detail. Our most recent party was Jenessa's. It was a chilly Saturday morning when we met at the Lougheed House in downtown Calgary.

We put on our dresses to enjoy a wonderful brunch, including much tea, yummy food, and delicious apple pie. :)

Gift time. For the past year we've been making jean quilts for all the girls. I first got one from my aunt, then I made one for Jess, then Jess and I made one for Elyn, and then all of us for Beverly's going away gift, and so on. So, it was Nessa's turn. She wasn't too surprised, but it was still fun to watch her open it and gush about the gorgeous colours. Okay, well, we all did a bit of gushing about our amazing choices.

After our lovely time inside we headed out for a few more photos.

We're very practiced at timer shots by this point, as we are a very camera happy group! But when the professional photographer watched us struggle with finding the "perfect place" to set the camera and offered to take a few pictures for us, we couldn't say no!

And a few more for fun.

What a delightful way to spend a Saturday. I love you girls. I'm so thankful that God placed you in my life.

Laura and Beverly, we truly missed you. Let's do Christmas, okay?

Chilly Morning

Perfect breakfast of a banana oatmeal muffin with a Creme Caramel  Tea Misto...

...on a chilly November morning. Working from home this morning with my warm tea and jolly thoughts of Christmas.

Three days ago the lake wasn't frozen at all. 

I have small feelings of guilt for working from home today as my brother was up at 6:00am to commute over an hour to work (outside!).

November, Snow, Anger, Irony...JOY

Oh the irony of today. Recently I've been thinking quite about about my next blog update. From my list below, what would be the "thing" I write about. Life is getting busier and I needed to make the next post a thoughtful one, I thought...

Yes, I was thought I would write about my job. This year as been a very, very up and down year with work. I was having a great catch up day yesterday and a good week in general. God has placed the exact people on my "team" that I need. He's given me the most amazing boss ever. He's advanced me to places beyond my wildest dreams. It truly is amazing. I was writing this post in my head...until today that is.

Sigh, today has been one of those "November" days. Grey, bleak, long, frustrating, cold, snowy, and in general, not fun. 

I wanted to get up, have a warm shower and feel good before I started my day. I had this brilliant plan to hit the snowy roads before everyone else did.  But, I got up later than I wanted to. I should know by now *not* to turn the alarm off. So, I rushed out of the house, at the exact same time the rest of Calgary. After being on the roads for 20 minutes, I was actually about 5 minutes away from my house. I stopped at Starbucks, determined to not be frustrated. I hit the road again, and while my coffee was great, it wasn't helping as much as I wanted it to. I sat at a light for 5 minutes...for 10 minutes, moving forward a car length at a time. I wasn't impressed. 

"I should just go home." But, no, my cure for frustration is getting items checked of my list, not going home and moping. I was determined to get to work. My frustration reached the point of pulling a u-turn and heading to the nearest C-train station. Yes, I was that desperate. After taking the train for 4.5 years, I feel like I've done my "time"...I found a parking spot, very far away from the station, I trudged through the snow and wind, I waited for the train in the snow and wind, and I was getting more frustrated. 

I finally sat on the train, with no book. Great. Now I was bored. Yes, I know, I'm being over dramatic. But this is exactly how I felt. By the time I got to work (2 hours after I left home), I was just down right angry, and wasn't shy about telling people either.

I let out my frustration out on organizing, which usually helps. It didn't today. In my head I was just getting more and more frustrated. I was angry at customers. I was angry at family. I was angry at the weather. I was angry at co-workers. I was talking on Skype with my boss and finally had to tell him I couldn't talk anymore and I'd call when I was happier. Now, does that sound like a 3 year old or what?

"What can I do to put myself in a better mood?" I tried to think of something, but you know what? I was enjoying my anger. I didn't want to pray for the joy of the Lord. I didn't want to listen to cheerful music. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I wanted to be angry. That's a scary feeling.

How ironic. Just yesterday I wanted to write about how much I loved work. Now I was sitting at work, angry. Don't worry, I won't end here.

I finally pushed past the anger, just a bit, and found some music. Step one. Okay, it was my "angry" music (we all have a bit of that, right?). But, sometimes my angry music is my bridge to reality again. As I started to listen and just sit there (step two, forget about the work you should be doing and calm down!). Breath. Calm. Down....and gradually, I started to chuckle a little, as my music pounded in my ears. I got to a point of looking at my morning and realizing how terrible it *wasn't*. I let myself give into the little irritations of life. Yes, I had lots to be frustrated about, but nothing to be angry about.

As I sat I started to read other blogs by friends. We all have "blah" moments (using Breanne's term). But, even in the blah-ness and frustrations, there is joy. I start to look at my cleaner desk, and find joy in the fact that it is tidier now than earlier. I look outside, and while the cars slide around, the sky is just a bit brighter than before. I look at my phone and I have a one word text from a friend reminding me of an inside joke and I start to laugh. I start to think about the little things that bring me joy. Chai tea lattes, little girls with a silly sense of humour, a warm office, choir, Christmas, friends who will text me one word :), a boss who cares about how I feel...and gradually, my frustrations seems to fade, and the music changes. Now I *want* to be in a good mood.

So, now, I'm back. Back from anger, with fewer frustrations. The Christmas choir music is on (and I can even smile at the Gb+ song I need to learn), and I imagine myself drinking chai (it's too cold to go out for one!). Now I want to call Alex back because I'm happier. I want to write about how much I love my job. I want get work done. And, above all, I can pray for the joy of the Lord to over take me...I can pray that I make a melody for Him this afternoon, and not one of my own.

So much!

Wow, so much as happened in the last week. Like, so much! Currently this post is simply a reminder to myself that there is a lot to catch up on:

• Jenessa's Party
• Memorial Service
• New West Concert (and the awesomeness of my choir/orchestra)
• Christmas Business
• First Snow
• My amazing job
• My nieces

Is that enough yet? It's coming, I promise...sometime...

My BGs

It was BG time again. That is, "Birthday Girl" time. Since I was 18, the seven of us have been celebrate each others birthdays with some unique way of celebrating. That first year we had surprise parties for everyone (yes, we surprised everyone!) and wow, what a year it was! Pride & Prejudice, Barnyard, Dress-up, Women of History, Gangster, and Clown. 

Since then, we've been getting creative or just plain having fun. But more than that, these girls have become my best friends. Through all our fun and craziness, we've developed a friendship like no other. Seriously, there is nothing that I love to do more than to hang out with my BGs. 

We love,  we laugh. 

We talk, we share. 

We talk about God, we talk about each other.

Meeting Her!

I made a short day trip to meet my new little niece. What a darling little girl! 

Monica was born on November 3, which was my great-grandma's birthday (my dad's grandma). Her name was Mary Kathleen, so when I got to Lethbridge, Lisa told me that they added the middle name "Kathleen". Therefore, she is Monica Kathleen Jewel Fehr. Lisa called and told my grandma, who was very touched.

It was such a joy to see her, and her sisters. Alanna, Megan, and Cadence are so excited about her and all fight to have a turn to hold Monica.

Megan is very concerned about Monica's umbilical cord. I probably heard the word "umbilical" over twenty times this afternoon. She wanted to know when it was going to come out, and if it hurt, and wanted to make sure I was very careful with it. We were constantly assuring her that everything was okay.

Cady loved holding the "cute little baby" and had a few meltdowns when it wasn't her turn with the baby.

 I love this little girl so much already!

 I can't wait to see the girl that Monica grows up to be and how she'll fit into our family!

Cady just couldn't get enough of her sister.

 How did these girls grow up so fast?

Just having fun together!

My amazing sister with a few of her girls!

I grabbed Alanna and Megan and headed out for the afternoon to give my Mom and sister a little bit of space. We headed to Starbucks (Auntie's favourite place) and met with Miss Laura for an overdue coffee date. Alanna and Meg brought along some colouring so they weren't bored.

Alanna is now in a booster seat. She loves being able to move around a bit more and can now turn around a look out the back window. So exciting! And Meg is now sitting in the back seat beside Alanna and this is quite fun. She keep telling Alanna to look our her side of the window.

  I grabbed this shot while they were jamming to the constant van noise of "Bullfrogs and Butterflies". I loved driving them around, singing right along with them, and hearing them sing about God.

Thank you Lord for my beautiful family!

Monica Jewel

She arrived! At 5:50pm on November 3, 2010, my fourth niece made her way into the world. Monica Jewel is a happy addition to our family and I can hardly wait to meet her and hold that tiny bundle in my arms. Praise Jesus!!

How my sister managed to look this good after hours of labour is beyond my understanding...

The Baby Call!

I just got the baby call. My sister is due to have her fourth baby next week, but has been feeling quite ready for awhile. 

I told my mom last week that I was treating every phone call from her as the "the baby call". Basically, meaning, don't call for a silly reason, call when the baby is coming! Well, she didn't quite understand that, and did manage to call me to ask if I wanted her to buy a pumpkin or to ask me if my friend liked the garland that her mom bought. She made me laugh.

But, the call came this morning. My next update will be a baby update. Keep my sister in your prayers.

A new munchkin will soon be added to this group of crazy, but loveable girls.

Home Alone

My week of house-sitting has just started. I am so excited! Call me crazy...or shall we say adolescent, but I'm very excited to be on my own for awhile. Now, yes, please understand that I do love home and know I will be very lonely by the end of the five days, but for now, just let me be excited, okay? :)

Evelyn's house is so adorable. Full of bold but cheery colours. It is a bungalow in a older neighbourhood, but the house has been redone and is quite cozy.

This is Mango, my new friend. Well, I'm sure if we're friends yet or not. He was pretty excited for food, but has since been sleeping on the bed. But, I'm sure we'll get along famously.

And I do have a picture of my first meal. Call me pathetic, but this is big stuff. But, my camera is being silly and won't let me upload it. While I realize that I do need to hit the store, I did manage to scrape together a salad of mixed greens, craisins, nuts, cheese, and balsamic vinegar. And while some of you may say that is no meal, it is for me.

And now, sitting in the comfort of my home, I'm off to enjoy my salad, listen to Annie Moses, and do as I please.

p.s. I've managed to turn on the Christmas lights and I have no idea how...oops...

Mondays...

It was a relaxing, but stressful weekend. Meaning, I literally had nothing to do. No places to be, just little odds and ends to finish up. These always take longer than they need to when you have no deadlines. But, I find that when I don't have things to do or deadlines, my mind starts to go...and go...and go...and all of a sudden, because I have time to actually think (and not just rush from one thing to another), I start to stress. I stress about all the things that need to be done at home, all the things I haven't done at work, all the relationships that need patching, all the people I need to communicate with, all the music I need to practice, all the decision I need to make about "life"...It truly is overwhelming. Which, prompted the "Jesus" prayer that I wrote about below. All weekend, while thinking about all the different aspects of my life that seem to be cascading upon me, I'd just sigh and say "Jesus". I can't say that He provided me with any answers, but the amazing truth of just being able to call His name and know that I didn't need to be the one in control is so comforting. Hopefully I can get some clarity and answers to my brief but plentiful prayers over the weekend.

Today is Monday. I can't say that I really like Mondays. I always fee like I need a weekend after my weekend First off, I've usually had ringette the night before, and while I love to play ringette, I don't appreciate going to bed at 12:30 and sleep by 1:00/1:30am. While it's true the late nights happen on a regular basis throughout the week...Monday mornings are a whole different story. I'm tired, I got up late, I didn't get to shower this morning, I nearly fell asleep while driving to work, I have lots of work waiting for me on my very messy desk (well, let's be honest, I currently have four desks filled with my junk, not joking)...

But, today, Monday, my least favourite day of the weekend, I've made the decision to have a great day. It sounds quite silly, but when I make the decision to have a great day, than things go way better. So it will be. I hope that my decision to be happy, but productive is a melody for Christ today.

L

Jesus

Sometimes, my prayers get no deeper than the name "Jesus". The rest of my hear and soul are in enough confusion, guilt, emotion, grief, or doubt, that nothing comes past just saying His name. And you know, I think He's okay with that. Oh, Jesus...

So I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandon.
In awe of the One who made it all.
I'll stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered.
All I am is Yours.

Oh, Jesus.

Melodies for Him

One of the things in life that brings me joy is music. And if you know me in any way, that shouldn't surprise you. Rarely is there a moment when strains of a melody can't be heard around me. I'm either performing, practicing, listening, or singing.

Music is a very emotional experience. It heightens joy, it creates celebration, it express sorrow, it provides healing. It causes any emotion to go the next level of feeling.

But, music goes beyond just my enjoyment or emotion. I truly believe that when music is played in honour of the Lord, there is nothing quite as beautiful. When music that is played in praise to our King is one of the most precious forms of worship we can give Him.

Psalm 150
Praise the LORD...
Praise him with tambourine and dancing,
Praise him with the strings and flute,
Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
       Praise the LORD.

New Blogger

I've been thinking about starting a blog for a little while now. I'm not entirely convinced that I'll actually keep it up, but it is something I'm interested in. So, I thought I'd give it a try. God has been placing so much on my heart recently that I really want to get down on paper...or screen I guess. 


Recently I've become addicted to blogs. Certain people just seem to having a skill to express themselves. I love to read about them, their families, their children, their dreams, and everyday life. It doesn't have to be anything profound, but the joy or sorrows of life.


So here I am, ready to follow God's calling on what to write, even if it is just every day life. My up and down moments. This is more for me than anyone else. 


I pray that somehow Christ will give me grace to hear Him and know His love. He is the lover of my soul and without Him I am nothing.