Finally here!

Well, the week of insanity of almost past! Tonight is the opening night of The Silver Screen Gala: A Night of Music. Long name, but it works, because it's a *big* concert! Definitely the biggest I've been involved in.

I'm so excited, and so nervous at the same time...I'm having those thoughts of "What is we're terrible?". I know we won't be. We've put in too many hours of work (seriously, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds) to be terrible. There will be some rough spots, but there always is, right?

The music isn't actually stressing me out too much. And I'm really choosing to not be stressed at all, but it's been crazy leading to this point. Who, in their right mind, takes on tickets sales (for over 700 assigned seats), and props, and is concertmaster, and is on the creative planning team, and is on the board? Well, clearly I'm not in my right mind, but we already knew that!

But, we're down to the last details. Stage is set, just a few more items to add. Tickets are sold, almost. Music is practiced, as much as it ever will be. Thank you cards are written. And now I just need to doll up for the concert, and wait out a day at the office!

Two more days, then a little bit of freedom! I'm so excited for the concerts, as well and the freedom afterwards!

Life...on steroids!

Anyone who knows me, knows I like to be busy...sometimes a little too much. But my theory is that I get more done when I actually have things to do! Life is slowing down and activities are less, but I'm still managing to keep busy (are you surprised?).

Three things are keeping me busy right now.

1) Work: Currently my list has over 20 uncompleted items on it. And I didn't add them all. And more are added daily. The boss is coming in today, so I'm trying to get all those little things done for him before he gets here and leaves on vacation next week (so I'm blogging right?).

2) Choir&Orchestra: Dress rehearsel in a week. Concerts in 9 and 10 days. Freaking.Out. I'm so excited and there is so much still to do. I'm concertmaster, tickets sales (for only a portion), co-props manager, on the board, and anything else I choose to dip my fingers in (which seems to be a lot). Oh, did I mention practicing?

3) Fine Arts Summer Academy: On July 9th I'm heading to Nashville for the "Fine Arts Summer Academy" with the Annie Moses Band. http://fineartssummeracademy.com/, just watch the video here and you'll see how much work I have to do. I'm going to focus on this more after my concert if finished, but definitely trying to squeak some solo practice in when I can.

Therefore, here is my schedule for the next week:
Tuesday (today):   Work; boss coming to town.
                              Pick up props and set up stage.
                              Rehearsal.
Wednesday:          Work; 2 meetings booked
                              Pick up more props and set up more of the stage.
                              Extra Rehearsal.
Thursday:              Fly to Vancouver
                              Figure out the best use of my time while not at home. Rext? Or productivity?
Friday:                   Vancouver; fly home.
Saturday:               Hike Rundle Mountain
Sunday:                 Church (I've missed the last two Sundays! Terrible person...)
                              Practice perhaps
Monday:               Work. Concert Prep. Practice
Tuesday:               Work. Dress Rehearsel!! Massive set up time!
Wednesday:          Work. Last minute preps for concerts. Probably some panic moments.
Thursday:              CONCERT! Forget work...to excited!
Friday:                  CONCERT! Sad and relieved because it is over...

Welcome to my life. After that begins Arts Academy prep in full force. But, I'm pretty must stoked about it all! Now I just need to survive on less sleep and we'll be in business.

Over and out to get all that work for the boss done.

p.s. Please, please, please, if you want tickets for my concert, I can hook you up! You don't want to miss it!

Who Am I?

So, if you didn't know this already, but I'm involved in lots of different "things". I like to say extra curricular, but there isn't a whole lot of curricular in my life. 

Lately I've realized that at each difference place or activity, I tend to be a little bit of a different person. I know they are all "me", but different sides come out in different places. Orchestra, Friends, Family, Youth and Work...

FRIENDS

 I can honestly say I'm happiest about who I am with my friends. Around my friends I feel maybe the most like "me". It definitely has a lot to do with who my friends are (they are awesome!). They bring out the best in me. 

When with them I can be fun, loud and crazy, but then at the same time I can be serious and emotional (oh, the number of times my friends have had to deal with that!), and then most of all, I can be "spiritual". I don't mean that in a trite way by any means. You know how with certain people you can just open up? That's how I feel with them. I can talk about God, what I understand, what I don't understand, what I disagree with, or really anything.

I love my friends, and I love being me with them...and I laugh more than ever with them too.

CHOIR AND ORCHESTRA (why don't have I have a photo?!)

I think I'm pretty similar here as with my friend, just may a little more mature. I don't quite let loose like I can. As concertmaster and part of the creative team, there isn't as much of an opportunity to really let everything go. 

But in a way, it is different. I can be the musical and creative me. I can gush about how hard or amazing a song is. I can just talk music and creativity. I'm a confident in who I am, but know that I'm certainly not the best musician there and am totally okay with my limitations. I'm motivated to get better and just have fun. This is very much the funnest and most satisfying activity I do.

YOUTH

Oh a place for me to be extreme. I lead Bible Study, and will make a total fool of myself while singing High School Musical with them (hmmm, or by myself). 

I don't feel like I'm a great Bible Study leader. I could put more effort into it, and after doing for five years, I feel very much like I'm in a rut that I don't have the energy to get out. I'm really seeking the Lord on what He has in store for me next year.

But, oh the fun I have with them...the silliest can abound and just can be so much fun! I love letting the girls be silly and not be so serious about being in high school. I like to hear about the boys, the hardships, the friendships, and just about life. The hugs I get from them are my favourite part of church.

WORK

I would have to say this is where I least like "myself" and where I least like myself. While I'm confident in who I am, I'm the least confident here. I'm not really sure what happens to me. 

Over the last year I've been working primarily by myself.  I'm a social person, but can't and aren't at work. I find this puts me in a strange head space. I really don't know if I want to be left alone and just given work that I can do independently. I crave that at times. And the rest of the time I just crave for the reality of last year, when I didn't have masses of responsibility and I could just count on other people to make decisions for me.

God is pushing me in my job. I've spent the last three months trying to figure out if I want to stay or not. The state of "transition" has been there for months and I'm not convinced it will ever leave. I'm tired.  It's stretching. It hurts.

But it isn't that what God does? He moves us from comfortable to make us stronger, to make us call to Him and Him only. I know that if I were to just throw in the towel now, it was feel like epic failure. I'm being given so many amazing opportunities to grow in my career and as a person. So, I'm still here,  up and down more than ever, but still going, continuing, and pushing through.

FAMILY

Oh family. I would definitely say I take on the "youngest" role. After all, I am the youngest. I'm silly, I make very stupid and silly jokes and laugh at them more than anyone else, until Reid looks at me, shakes his head, and starts laughing.

I would also say that I have the "youngest syndrome". I let other take the lead, I sit back and expect others to do things for me, I don't lead out in serious conversation often, and have a hard time opening up.

I love to hang out with my family.

________________________________

So, that's me. Sort of. I'm not really sure how to explain me. Is there actually a way to explain someone? I find it interesting how different parts of me come out in different areas. And I'm happy with who I am, know there is always room for improvement. I'm not perfect yet. ;)

The Power of Music

An article I wrote for my church newsletter:

The Power of Music

Music has always been a constant in my life. Growing up in a homeschooled family, it wasn’t an option, it was “class”. I never thought much about it those early days of practicing. I just got up, ate breakfast, and sat down at the piano. A few years after starting piano, I begged my parents to let me add more joyous melodies to the house; soon the sound of a nine year old perfecting the screeches of a violin began. It was just an every day part of life.

At the time I had little idea where practicing all those scales would take me. Beginning with Twinkle, Twinkle on a little stage and playing in music festivals, to being concertmaster at Conservatory orchestras and playing the famous Beethoven’s 5^th in the Jack Singer Concert Hall. Looking back, it’s pretty incredible!

However, more amazing than music “accomplishments” are Christ’s accomplishments, through our music. Through music, the news of Jesus Christ is brought many places, places that normally would not accept it. Some of my most intense moments of prayer have been while playing with a choir and orchestra in Europe; crying out to the Lord that people would see Jesus as we sang about Him at an outdoor park in Lucerne, Switzerland, for Muslim children at an outdoor basketball court in Hamburg, Germany and in the Swedish state church.

In the Psalms we are told to “Praise the LORD with the harp; make music to Him on the ten-stringed lyre.” (33:2) and to “Praise Him with tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flute.” (150:4).

Sometimes I think we forget that music is not just another item to add to the “to do” list. It isn’t a chore. It is worship. What is more, it is an intimate, direct link to the heart of Christ. Through music, more than any other venue, can we can express and release emotion to the One who created our souls. While learning, playing, singing and listening to music, we can express what is in our hearts. Anger. Joy. Sadness. Happiness. Disappointment. Excitement.  Love.

Music releases emotion.  Therefore, it creates an emotional connection with Christ that we are not always aware of. Seeing this transformation happen in someone as they participate in worship through music is amazing.  People come into church with their arms crossed and mind focused on life issues, but leave praising the Lord. I come to rehearsals drained and tired from a long day, and leave renewed and energized. People who are closed to the message of the gospel will listen to music proclaiming the truth of Jesus.

Music has changed me. Through the power of music I have come to love Jesus, more and more and more. This has a ripple effect. The more I express praise and worship to Him, the more others are provided with an opportunity to do the same and love Him more. Music changes people.

So, as I continue to lift my violin at choir and orchestra practice, as I sing in church, and as I play piano for a gig, I remember that my sole goal is not to improve my skills, or have fun (although I do!). I do it to create and express emotion, to enter into worship of my God and Creator, and to ultimately spread the love of Christ.

An excuse...

I've been busy okay, that's my excuse for not posting. Not the most creative excuse, but a true one none the less! Let's just say that I had my first evening home in over a month last Wednesday (only because I canceled something!) and my next "free" weekend is in June.

And, I'm still busy, so this isn't even a post. I'm just telling you what's going on...however, there is one in the works...so it'll come...just be patient with me, okay?!

:)

I spy...

This is just too cute. Cadence is definitely the funniest of the four.

As to the Lord, Not for Men

I love to help people...a lot of what I do, in work and volunteer work is helping people. And I love it, really. I love being helpful and making their lives easier.

On a wedding day, I like to relieve the bride of all the little but necessary responsibilities, so that she doesn't need to stress about them. At work, I love to see a task and take care of it, so others don't need to it. I love to make their job easier.

But there's a catch. I quite like to be noticed and admired for all these things I do. It's not huge, just an expression of thankfulness for what I've done. It doesn't seem like it's that much to ask, right? I'm helpful...Recently though, I think my desire to help has been overtaken by wanting to be noticed as being helpful.

"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men." 

Ephesians 6:7

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." 

Colossians 3:23

 What I do is *not* about being noticed.  It's not a matter of having the great, happy feeling of someone being happy with me when I'm done. It not about warm fuzzies. It's not about praise I receive. It's about working wholeheartedly for the Lord. That's all. That is literally all that matters. 

Anyone else have a hard time with this?

I do think that God puts situations in our lives that will challenge these issues we have. Refining work. That's where I'm at. Recognizing where God wants to take me, but resisting and not enjoying the process of getting there.